I truly believe that God has a plan for all of us. That there's a reason as to why things happen whether they're good or bad, why certain people come into your life and when.
Last September 2013 when i miscarried I was devastated. I was besides myself with grief and I had no idea how I was going to overcome the sadness in me. Eventually I did and I truly believed that God had a bigger plan for my unborn child even if that wasn't with me. I had almost lost all hope that another baby would be in my future. And I lost my way.. My faith dwindled again... Losing my mom and a baby in the same year? I felt like it was some type of cruel joke. And the universe was laughing at me.
But then my period was 2 days late and those 2 lines popped up. A mix of emotions all at one time... Definitely happiness but more overwhelming fear than anything else. "Was this really happening?"; "maybe my test is defective."; "what if the same thing happens again?" All normal fears for someone who had lost a baby a year before. So when I tried really hard not to get my hopes up. I tried telling myself that I shouldn't get excited because I didn't know what was going on... I should wait to see the doctor and they can tell me more when I go. But yet...I found myself telling my best friends that I was pregnant and they shared in my excitement and my joy. But also encouraged me to know that being fearful is something completely normal. Especially after what I had been through.
This is where "divine appointment" comes into play. On December 1st I went for my "pregnancy confirmation" ultrasound. This was it. D-DAY. This appointment held so much. This was when I would find out if I was successfully pregnant or had to begin on the road to recovery yet again after suffering the loss of a pregnancy.
My ultrasound tech was wonderful. I forget her name but I wish I remembered it so I could thank her. She wasn't originally supposed to have me to scan but something told her that she should scan me. I told her a little bit about myself, told her my story of miscarriage and how devastating it was. How excited and fearful I was for this pregnancy. & how I was SO afraid that something would be wrong. How I felt God had a bigger plan for my miscarried little angel. And then she scanned my belly & together we saw the little heartbeat flickering on the screen.
We cried together. This woman I had never met until that day was crying with me over the heartbeat of my unborn baby. She talked to me about God's will. And how she felt that God had sent her to me to help me with my faith. She wasn't supposed to scan me but said she would at the last minute... She said it was God's divine appointment. There was a reason she chose to scan me. I asked her questions about God and told her how I had wanted to get closer to Him. Explained the loss of my mother and baby destroyed the little faith I had left. She gave me the information about her church, Glad Tidings Church in West Lawn, PA. I thanked her and I went on my way. She impacted me so much that day. A woman I had never met before that moment impacted me in the biggest of ways. She showed me my unborn baby, took the time to show me everything I wanted to see. I was only 6 weeks and 2 days so there wasn't much to see. But nonetheless she showed me.
Divine Appointment. It's a funny thing how the Lord works. Brings people into your life and with good reason. I would have never encountered that woman or learned about her church had it not been for my ultrasound appointment that day. Because of her I found a church that I truly connect with & enjoy. Im able to attend online services from the comfort of home since I can't get there all the time. And I truly LOVE it. What an amazing technology this is!
Divine. Appointment. God had a reason. He had a reason for taking my mother away and for having me miscarry in September 2013.
Had it not been for all I've experienced I may never have gotten my faith back. Had I not lost my unborn child I never would have changed OB/GYNs & ended up at PMMC getting scanned by an ultrasound tech that changed my life. I wouldn't have gotten my faith back in the Lord. I mean maybe I would have. But maybe not in this way. Had I not lost the baby in September 2013 I may never have ventured back to church. But I did lose the baby, and I lost my faith. I lost my way. Until now. That woman changed my life.
God has a bigger plan. He always does. He knew what He was doing when he had me lose my baby, He was preparing me for something bigger and better. For a relationship with Him to be stronger than it ever was before! He sent me this woman to tell me about her church and all it had to offer me. And I'm blessed to have met this woman. And I thank her from the bottom of my heart.
Divine appointment is a beautiful thing.
Have a great Sunday!
Xoxo, Jenna
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