New Years Resolutions

No but really. I'm not making the generic "new year new me" resolutions. Instead I'll compile a list of some things that I would like to accomplish this year. Also, don't make fun of people that make resolutions to become fit or in shape, at least they're doing something about their life and their situation. I commend people that can do that and even if they fall off the wagon they end up sticking to it. 

*12 ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR 2015*

1. EAT HEALTHIER 

I know this sounds like a generic resolution but honestly I just need to eat better. Don't get me wrong I don't eat like crap all the time - but I do allow myself to indulge occasionally. And let's be honest, it's easier to eat like crap than it is to eat healthy. And it's also cheaper... BUT I have a solution for that. So many people think that you can't eat right because of money ... and granted eating organically can be pricey but you can shop on a budget & get everything you need to be healthy. I shop at a grocery store called Aldi and I seriously LOVE it. It's delicious food for less than going to a place like Giant, Acme, Shop Rite, etc. Although I'll admit I do go to supermarkets for meats and things like that, but if you're looking for fresh, delicious produce, then head to Aldi or even your local farmers market. 

2. HAVE A FIT PREGNANCY

Nicole "Snooki" LaValle and Ashley Horner are 2 women I truly look up to in my life. And seeing how driven and determined they were during their pregnancy gives me the motivation to do the same thing. Granted I'm sure I'll have days where I can't even think of working out but I still really want to be fit and healthy. Plus the benefits of working out while pregnant are substantial. It's been said that labor and delivery are easier, and your body will bounce back quicker than if you didn't. Although some women are just blessed enough to have amazing bodies after baby and mad props to them. I would really like to get the Recreating You trainer by Ashley Horner which is at home program but I gotta convince my hubby ;) I also would like to get a treadmill or elliptical that I have access to as well. It'll be good especially for after Baby L. arrives because I can walk on that when the baby is napping or playing and I'll be right there. Snooki really inspires me though because she did a complete and total transformation..she went from party girl to amazing fit mom and she's completely different now and I look up to her. This is a definite goal that I want to stick with not only during my pregnancy but after as well. 

3. GROW MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

I chose that verse because it was one of my moms favorites and it is now on her headstone. For those of you who don't know me personally or know me on that level, 2013 was the worst year of my life. My mom fell ill in January 2013 and we learned that her cancer had returned - but this time it took up housing in her lungs, adrenal glands and brain. From the moment it started we all just knew that the outcome was a bleak one and it wouldn't end like her original story. In 2001 - on Flag Day (and the only reason I remember this is because my mom always told us the story about the questions that the doctors asked her at Jefferson) - my mom got an extreme migraine... she laid down and woke up and ended up vomiting all over the downstairs bathroom...funny the things you remember huh? Long story short that started our family on a journey of triumph... my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme, an aggressive brain cancer with a LESS THAN 1% chance of survival... she was given a treatment plan and 6 months to live. She beat the odds and overcame the cancer and we were overjoyed. And then 2013 happened. It was fast moving and terrible. Our family spent countless weeks in hospitals, rehab centers and eventually hospice care. My mom put up a hell of a fight but succumbed to the cancer on March 29, 2013. She fought up until her very last breath. What does this have to do with faith and God you ask? Well pretty much everything. My mom getting so sick again and watching her slowly die in front of our eyes was something I can never erase from my memory no matter how hard I try..but my mom was so strong and she was a woman of unwavering faith and love for Christ. When she had gotten sick and eventually passed I found myself blaming God for what had happened. I constantly thought to myself that if there was a God he wouldn't do this to my mom and our family again. There's no way a God would do that to someone when there are so many other people in the world that are crappy human beings -- it sounds terrible to say but it's the God's honest truth. 

Although my relationship with God is stronger now than it was then it isn't as strong as I would like it to be. It's hard for me to find a good church to attend and then actually go especially with a cranky toddler. But what I learned from the loss of my mom was that God definitely has bigger plans for us than we know of. My mom was suffering so terribly and it was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I'm blessed to have had her as my mom for as long as I did because some people aren't that lucky. Heaven needed her more than we did and she's no longer suffering or in pain and I'm so thankful to God for that. Because nobody should have lived the way my mom was. It was painful for her to live with and painful for us to watch. I miss her everyday though. So one thing I want to do this year is become closer to God again... on the level of going to church, praying more frequently and having an overall closer relationship with the Lord. 

4. STICK WITH SCHOOL

I have changed my mind so many times it's borderline ridiculous. I attended the local community college and excelled greatly at it but it didn't work for me especially after the loss of my mom, and then I didn't have a reliable babysitter to watch Caleb for me so I could go to school... I'm definitely not as lucky as some people in that department. I then attended a local "technical school" for medical assistant which proved to be a bust because the school is basically run by a bunch of scam artists. It's ridiculous, so I left there. The Chief of Police at my husbands PD told me about the online university he attends to get his Master's Degree so I looked into that... online works for me because I'm a busy mom with no daycare access (lets face it that is expensive!) or a babysitter. This is the next best thing. So I got some more information and I'm currently in my first semester at Bellevue University majoring in psychology. I really love it, the teachers are great, curriculum is great and it's an overall challenging program but I really enjoy it and I'm happy with it. It's something that I definitely don't want to lose site of especially with being pregnant and having another baby in July. It's amazing the difference from college and high school. I love college and hated going to high school. LOL. So I'm glad I found something education wise I really love to do.

5. TRY NEW AND HEALTHY RECIPES

I love this website... last thanksgiving I actually prepared my entire thanksgiving feast according to this website. Right down to the crockpot turkey and boy was it delicious. Plus it was healthy so indulging wasn't full of all the guilt.

It's hard to believe that I used to not even cook. I could burn water. It was pretty bad. But I love cooking now and trying new things to cook for my family. Maybe I'll make my own cookbook one day ;) lol. But for now I'm just content with cooking.

6. MOVE

I have lived in Pottstown for going on 3 years now I think. My apartment isn't bad but I need more space and I need a better area. There is crime everywhere but as of lately it's gotten worse. And honestly I hate apartment living. We live on a main road and it's pretty noisy at times but we always get stuck with really crappy neighbors. When we first moved in here we had these crappy neighbors upstairs that literally were up all night long making SO much noise. I think we called the cops on them within the first week of living here. Blaring music and yelling and partying. I understand wanting to enjoy yourself but come on, be respectful. Especially at 4:00 am. They ended up getting evicted and then another group of rude people moved in. They didn't renew their lease after a year but it was still a year of dealing with partying and bs from them. The other guy that lives upstairs is really nice but he's a serious alcoholic... we never had issues with him (per say) but his ex-girlfriend (who no longer lives there) and then his niece and her lowlife boyfriend caused a lot of problems. It was really bad... constantly calling the cops on them and they were always screaming at us and dealing drugs out of the apartment and the guy was a criminal. Cops were always pounding on the doors to get him locked up. Luckily he's in jail now and our landlord laid down the law and basically told the guy upstairs "you make them leave or you do" and chose the better option. The guy above us now is probably the best one so far... he plays his guitar sometimes really loud and obnoxiously but he's all around a decent human being. I forgot to mention that we live above a karate studio.. and while it isn't an all day thing the noise is getting to be too much for us. It's always constant thumping and banging and loud noise. And now the karate instructor brings his annoying dog to every class he teaches and he barks the entire time.

I also am in dire need of a backyard and a basement. Right now we are lucky enough to have a washer and dryer hookup in our apartment but the washer is in our bedroom closet and the dryer is in the living room... I really want a house that I can have them next to each other in a separate room. I want a backyard so I can take Caleb outside to run around and play and to enjoy the sunshine. We have a yard now but it's a pain to get to and everyone in the building has access to it. And it isn't well kept either because my landlord doesn't care. OH and I need a bigger kitchen with more counter space and a dishwasher would be amazing. But really we need more space and to be away from the main part of town. Our lease is up in October so Lord willing we will find something we like and be able to get out of here. 

7. LET GO OF GRUDGES & STOP LETTING THINGS GET TO ME SO BAD

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me"... I'm beginning to think that whoever wrote that was a bully or had never been bullied before because words can hurt more than stones if you ask me. One thing I want to stop doing though is letting the things people say to me or about me get me so upset that it completely ruins my mood and then I'm depressed about it. I need to start letting things go in one ear and out the other. Some people only feel better when hurting others verbally (or physically). So that's one thing I want to focus on because I'll be an all around happier person. So while I know that some people will hurt me with the things that they say and do, I will try really hard to not let it get to me as badly as before. 

Letting go of grudges is better for your health. And that's something I really want to do. I started already by doing so with my brother in law. We didn't see eye to eye on things and we had more than one huge blowup fight. It took a long time but letting go of that grudge has made me pretty happy and I don't feel constantly sick about it all the time. It's just something to think about. There is no sense in holding grudges it benefits nobody and makes you angry inside. 

8. HAVE MORE DATE NIGHTS WITH THIS GUY.

It happens. You have kids and life gets busy and you seem to disconnect from "alone time" with one another. We used to go out for date nights maybe once a month, and now I couldn't tell you the last time we went out together just on a date. So in 2015 I want to go on a date night with my husband at least once or twice a month.  It's important that we stay connected together and go out and do special things together without kids involved. Our first date night in 2015 will be on January 6th because we are going to the Flyers Game, so I think that's a good start.

9. STEP AWAY FROM TECHNOLOGY

Our world is run by technology. The latest iPhone, Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. It's everywhere you turn. Growing up I remember getting dial up AOL internet and thinking it was the coolest thing in the world. Now every where you turn it's "free wifi"; "like us on Facebook"; or "follow me on Instagram/Twitter". People are constantly looking at their phones. Texting someone, on Facebook or another social networking site and while it's okay to do that (and Lord knows I'm completely guilty of it) it runs peoples lives. I went with my family to see Frozen on Ice on Christmas and I was amazed at the amount of parents just messing around on their phones and not seeing the joy and happiness on their children's faces. Younger kids do it too. You see them out with friends or out to dinner and people are on their phones the entire time. In 2015 I promise to stay off my phone so much and just enjoy life. Turn my phone off and watch a movie or cuddle with Caleb (I do those things now) just have NO INTERRUPTIONS. Play a game. Talk to one another. Just stop being so absorbed in technology.

10. EMIT THE NEGATIVITY.

This seems to be a reoccurring theme with me. But at times I've been surrounded by some really shitty people. I solemnly promise that in 2015 I will cut out the negative people from my life and the life of my family -  No matter who they may be. I went through a lot in my past. I was addicted to drugs and an all around shithead and I can admit that. A few years ago I was in complete denial and "everyone was just out to get me"... but I grew up and realized that wasn't the case at all. I was just a shitty person. But I'm not that person anymore. I'm doing really well. I'm clean and sober, married with a beautiful family. But some people live in the past of yesterday and refuse to let things go no matter what it is. And honestly I don't need that kinda thing in my life. GOOD VIBES ONLY - NEGATIVITY NEED NOT APPLY. I need happiness and happy people. Negative people will only bring me down.

Fitting into this category is cutting out negative friends/acquaintances. Lets face it we all have those friends. The ones that are always complaining about something going on and it seems like they are never happy about anything. You tell them something going on in your life and they immediately revert it back to something about them. And completely rain on your parade. (I get it, we all have bad days. We're human but some people take it to a whole new level). I don't want those kind of people in my life. What kind of friends are they if they are constantly bringing you down? No friends of mine.

11. BREASTFEED

Before I know it Baby L. will be here. I breastfed Caleb but I ended up giving up because all I did was leak milk. It wasn't that I couldn't do it but I honestly produced so much milk that I couldn't keep up. I was soaking through breast pads like it was going out of style. I would put washcloths in my nursing bras only to soak through them within 15-20 minutes. But breastfeeding is something that I am passionate about, something that I know I can do if my mindset is right and I'm committed. I'm sure it'll be hard at first but I know I can do anything that I set my mind to. Breast is best after all. 

12. CREATE A KICKASS NURSERY

When my mother in law moved out we turned Caleb's bedroom into an ultimate boys room. With a bunch of painting, giant Cars decals and even a Lightning McQueen bed. It's awesome. We are lucky enough that our landlord lets us renovate and do projects here because it's only improving. For Baby L. I definitely want to make an amazing nurse... we didn't have that option when Caleb was a little baby because we went through some moving issues and then he shared a room with us at my mother in laws house so this time I really want to switch around and create an amazing nursery - thank God for Pinterest right? I also want to get a loft bed for Caleb to free up some space in his room - he currently has a full bed and it takes up a lot of room. Especially because if we have another boy they'll be sharing a bedroom.

To go along with this I want to do more at home projects. We are thinking of knocking out our kitchen wall to give us more room because there isn't a lot of space (I'm talking a closet is probably bigger)... and I want to stain our deck and maybe get a nice set for out there. Just some things I really want to do. They seem easy now but I'm sure they're tedious and time consuming but definitely fun. We had a lot of fun doing Caleb's room and planning a nursery is something I'm excited for. 

That's all I can think of right now but they are all things that I want to do and feel that I need to do. I hope everyone has a wonderful happy and healthy new year. And that 2015 is better than 2014 - I know that it will be for me. <3 

- XOXO, Jenna